The 'New' me

So, my New Years resolution for 2009 was to re-connect with my spiritual side and become active in church again. It's been several hard months, where at times I was too tired or too discouraged to get up and go, not to mention that the thought of sitting in a building for 3 hours trying to entertain a 2-year old was not my idea of 'fun'. So, I'm not really sure when it started to happen, but suddenly people started comming up to me and recognizing me, they discovered who my son was and that I was one of the "Juchau's". Dad teaches the Sunday school class, so I could usually sit in the back under the radar, until the week where he asked me to say the closing prayer... wow... praying in church for the first time in 9 years? I was a little nervous, but it turned out OK. Then, I was asked to say the prayer in Relief Society a couple weeks later, now I'm a pro. So then a couple weeks ago, the Sunday School lesson was on the organization of the Relief Society and how Emma Smith created the Hymn book, suddenly at this point, I'm realizing that the 3-hour church block really isn't long and that I'm feeling really good after I go to church. Devon is learning how to say his prayers, and if I forget when I put him to bed, he starts to get upset and says "On my knees mommy!"

So, two weeks ago, I find out that the bishopric is trying to get a hold of me and give me a calling. At this point I'm freaking out! How can I teach a class when I'm still trying to remember all of the basic gospel principles.. not only that but I can't fit in planning a lesson along with working full time, being a single mom and a full load of School!! And Horror of all horrors! What if they put me in the Nursery... so it is with a heavy heart that I walk into the bishops office to learn what my new stressor is going to be. I sit down and the First counselor asks me what I think about music. I respond that music is so important in my life, I feel closest to the Lord when I hear a spiritual song, it is my way of expressing my testimony. He then asks me if I would accept the calling as the Relief Society Chorister.... What?? That's a calling? What a great calling for me, I excitedly accepted this new task with much relief... I can do this!

Today was my second day leading the music and since it was the 5th Sunday, I got to stand infront of all the Relief Society and Priesthood, talk about trial by fire! I get lost all the time directing and then usually end up spelling my name until I find my place, but its amazing that I feel important. I feel like I belong and not just that, but the other ladies in the Relief Society are recognizing me and inviting me to sit by them. I wish that I had taken the time much sooner, it only took a couple months of me making the commitment to go before I finally felt like I belonged, in a way. Todays lesson was about the Temple and Eternal families, It's interesting that most people probably got out of the lesson that they need to do temple work, but what I got was an overwelming feeling that I need to pay tithing... funny how the spirit works!